Success Stories

Heather

32, mother of 4, Originally from Virginia

How does a married mother of four end up at A Friend’s House not just once, but twice? By one seemingly harmless decision at a time.

Heather had a devoted husband and four little boys, but after several years of motherhood the single life of a girlfriend looked better. It didn’t take long before Heather was unfaithful to her marriage several times.

“The last relationship became so serious that I convinced myself I could leave my husband for him. I became someone I didn’t recognize as my sin spiraled out of control. Drugs, drinking, late nights, an abortion, lying, and stealing caused such guilt that I attempted to hang myself. My family encouraged me to get help and I applied to A Friend’s House,” said Heather.

When she arrived at AFH the first time, she was not ready to lay down her sin and face her consequences. After 16 days, she walked out the door and was determined to never come near the Indiana border again. She thought she could work out all her issues on her own.

“Returning to drugs and alcohol, I became completely miserable. I found no fulfillment in the party lifestyle I led, yet I couldn’t stop. I had no rights to my children. I was unemployed and my husband had had enough. He declared he wanted a divorce,” continued Heather.

“Finally, the gravity of what I had done unfolded before my eyes. I knew I needed to return to AFH, but I had to wait six months before they would consider my application for re-entry.” She reapplied and was accepted back to A Friend’s House. “I walked back through the doors truly broken and ready to work,” said Heather. “I alone made the bad decisions to get myself into this situation, and I needed to do the hard work to earn my life back.”

After several months of confronting lies she believed about herself and learning the discipline that a responsible life requires, Heather graduated from AFH. She went home to four precious boys, and a divorce. But she persevered. She got a job, then two jobs, and bought a car. She has joint custody of her boys, and tries to savor each moment she has with them. Life is not easy for her, and she will quickly tell you that sin is never worth the cost.

“I have realized that although each day has its challenge, God needs me here for a very specific purpose and each day He reveals more and more to me. I would not have dreamed I would be where I am on many different levels. I can’t help but remind myself that the only person who is held back by my past is me. I make a choice everyday to take a step forward even if I cry the whole way.”

Terri

29, Bluffton, Originally from Indiana

Terri grew up in an adopted family where tension was high. As she grew older, she looked for fast fixes to hide her problems - partying, drinking, and having physical relationships that didn’t mean anything. In a short timeframe she was in a car accident, lost her job, was evicted from her apartment, and discovered she was pregnant. She applied to AFH, and after being accepted, moved to a community she knew nothing about.

Terri reflected, “It really touched my heart for the staff to treat me so well. They loved me before they even knew me - for the first time, I felt like I was important to someone. They gave me the resources, then stepped back and let me do the work I needed to do.”

Terri decided the best thing for her son was to place him for adoption. She resolved, “I realized I could be the best mother for him by loving him enough to let him go, by giving him to someone who could provide more for him than I could.”

Her son’s birth and adoption, Terri says, were the most beautiful things she ever experienced. “It was so amazing how God could make this beautiful, precious boy. I spent time with my baby - I held him, I loved him, I kissed him.”

“The staff members supported me through everything,” said Terri. “When I delivered my baby, they came to the hospital - that’s when they became my family.”

Terri not only worked through the curriculum and learned necessary life skills, but she also paid back more than $2,000 of debt while living at AFH. Terri graduated and decided to stay in Bluffton. She maintained her job, has her apartment and continues building a relationship with her son and his adoptive family.

“This place is amazing for women who want to change their lives. If A Friend’s House did not exist, I would not have had a second chance. I would be living on the streets, living off welfare, not being able to take care of myself or my baby. I would be doing things I had no business doing in order to support myself, or maybe I’d even be dead by now. A Friend’s House provided a new start for me. I worked hard for my new start, but I couldn’t have done it without AFH.”

Lacey

27, student, Originally from Texas

The transition from the valedictorian of her high school class to a young woman in distress happened very quickly for Lacey. On the outside she looked like a motivated, well-adjusted young lady with a promising future. But inside her thoughts and feelings spiraled out of control. She sought help for her depression, and managed one year of college. But the next summer was a disaster.

“I wasn’t able to verbally express how I was feeling, but I wanted others to understand how much I was hurting, so I started to cut myself,” said Lacey. “If I could redo just one moment in my life, this would be it! I had no clue how I was changing the direction of my life with that one small cut.”

The self-mutilation soon became an addiction to deal with on top of her mounting depression. When she turned 25 she began to see that at least ¼ of her life was over, and she had nothing to show for it. So the 15th time she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, she looked for a permanent solution and found A Friend's House.

“Some of the hardest months of my life were spent at A Friend’s House. I faced the reasons why I hurt myself all those years. I discovered there was a cycle that described my pattern of self destruction. Identifying the parts to this cycle helped me understand my behaviors. I learned ways to stop myself before I totally snowballed out of control,” she said.

Lacey had more than 1,000 counseling sessions before AFH, but something was different about the therapy at AFH. She explained that our therapist held her accountable to the homework she assigned, and expected changes.

After ten months of hard work, she successfully graduated in June of 2008. Now she is finishing a degree in psychology at Ball State University. “I facilitate a self-advocacy group for severely mentally ill clients, and am making plans to begin graduate school next fall to work toward a Masters in Social Work,” continued Lacey. “While I’m not able to regain seven horrific years of my life back, maybe I can save someone else from facing the giant problems I faced.”